Don't Call Me Mother

a Wunderkammer theme week curated by Ellen Placey Wadey

The language of classification – unless it’s of the objective scientific variety – isn’t one that we accept readily. We resist labels because they never get the full picture of who we are: complicated, contradictory, often confused people. Resisting a label is even harder when you purposefully stand outside one of the most beloved human conditions: motherhood. In a world filled with constant options and increasing tolerance, one would think the choice not to be a mother wouldn’t be a big deal. But the reactions tell a different story. When you answer, “No,” to the question, “Do you have children?” the responses vary from pity – the assumption being that you’re infertile – to judgment – the assumption being that you don’t like children because you’re too self-absorbed. The number of men and women who won’t be parents is significant – some studies calculate as much as 25% of the population and growing. Then why are we still so suspicious of women who have chosen not to have children? The reasons for the choice are as varied as the women who make it. The following is just a sample of those voices. Part of an ongoing project, “Don’t Call Me Mother,” seeks to open a space for the stories and poetry of women who have decided that mother won’t be one of their labels. If you’d like to participate in this project, please contact Ellen Wadey at ellen.wadey@gmail.com with the subject line: Don't Call Me Mother.

Image by Trinette Mura