Writing by Sam Pink
Pictured: Christopher Higgs
haha yes ok. i have control over my life in small segments and in between i'm the same thing as a housefly leaving the deepest moon crater to come back home. my dad yells at me after my soccer games because i am a failure and when i get home i pour the water in my water bottle onto some grass because the grass deserves it more than i do. and haha yes ok. yes ok i get braces put on my teeth and take them off and connect them from the tops of my eye sockets to the bottoms and pretty soon the socket holes will be pulled shut. good god it's good to be a slow motion wincer in times when i take my first push out of the deepest moon crater to come back home. yes ok haha how does it feel to be one of the nearly invisible hairs on your back when it gets drowned by my mouth. i bet your tailbone has static at the end of it when this happens. haha yes look at me i have the same haircut as the oldest child on HOME IMPROVEMENT and guess what, i hide a picture of myself in my shinguards good god it's good to be nearly invisible by now. guess what while i was bagging groceries today i almost startled myself with laughter when i went to put a wine bottle in the cutomer's bag and had a nearly irreversible urge to assail the customers child with it. i hear 'BOOM' in my head but haha yes ok guess what that is how i will live and getting through it isn't even a concern. haha yep.
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