by Meghan Austin
The interview went really well
except for the part when the guy questioned whether my degree was real.
The bio on the website says he’s writing a novel.
Some guy wrote a novel about a guy riding the NYC subway, while riding the subway.
LIRR to Jamaica to AirTrain to Terminal 5 to Boar’s Head sandwich station.
Queens has a lot of apartment complexes that look like really tall Smurf villages.
He must have a really good computer battery. Or publicist.
I would get carsick.
It takes way too long to download Keeping up with the Kardashians in New York.
Too many white people, on too many iPhones, downloading too many Kardashians.
It takes half as long to download a Kardashian in Chicago.
And yet, the Kardashians are the same size.
If something doesn’t happen soon
these slacks will need dry cleaning.
No one believes my diagnosis that Kimberley has Autism. She would make a really hot spokesmodel.
The ass of Asperger’s.
Carol and Mike Brady never had a biological child?
#stoned.
soon.
Too old to have a reliable pot dealer.
Someday soon, I will live in the same city as my girlfriend
